Fill Love Tank
How do you fill love tank? And I mean someone else’s love tank. If you follow Gary Chapman’s assumption that there are 5 love languages, you fill love tank by simply speaking the other person’s love language. It’s not easy to do since we often speak different love languages and learning our spouse’s love language is one thing, but speaking it is not easy as it’s not natural for us.
One way to have fun with it is to play the game “tank check”. Basically, each day, you ask your spouse the question “How’s your love tank on a scale of 0 to 10? With zero meaning completely empty and 10 being I couldn’t handle any more love today!” By asking this question, it gives you an idea of how much you need to do things to add to your spouse’s love tank.
Similar to spoken language learning
It’s the same as learning another language. If you are French and you try to learn English or vise-versa, it takes a while, so give yourself time to learn it.
It’s easy to think that we don’t feel loved because our spouse doesn’t love us as much as before, but intellectually, we know that life and stresses get in the way, but why is it that it feels like that? Gary Chapman explains that it’s because our spouse doesn’t speak our love language.
Like any other relationship advice you’ll hear, it is essential that you work on yourself and not focus on what your spouse needs to learn. By you doing what you can, things will get better and you will fill love tank of your spouse which will automatically cause him/her to want to do the same for you at which point you can bring up this process.
Works with kids and others too
You can improve your relationships at work and with your children too by learning their love language. Obviously, for work, I do not mean love as in the romantic kind, but there is benefit to treating people the way they feel good about themselves. For example, some people might prefer being congratulated on doing work alone instead of being asked to be included in a project.
As for your children, you can watch their behavior as early as 2 years old and see if they like to give you gifts, help you with tasks or are always wanting a hug. When you learn their love language to fill love tank of theirs, you will see great improvements in their behaviors too.
Have fun with it, fill your spouse’s love tank and fill your kid’s love tank!
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