If you’ve ever read Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus from John Gray, you may have head him talk about negative adjectives. He says to use nadjectives to describe yourself when you make a mistake. Actually, I don’t think that’s in the book, but in some audio books I have of his. This mostly applies for men though as women are not expected to apologize when they make mistakes.
Women need an apology
Let’s face it guys, whenever we do something to upset our spouse, no matter how we feel about it, we are the ones who did something… What this means is that it’s our responsibility to apologize. To be honest, I usually do not feel like it when this happens (once a year or so of course lol) but I know from my John Gray how important it is to my wife, so after I take a few breaths and realize how much it means to her that I take responsibility for my mistakes, I will go to her and use a nadjective… something like “I’m sorry, I was inconsiderate” or “So sorry, I was insensitive to your needs”
This of course makes her feel very secure in my love because she feels cared for and considered.
Men need to be forgiven
This brings us to what men need. Lady’s, if you make a mistake, you can certainly do the same thing, but it won’t mean as much to your man, so save your energy for what really matters to us.
What we need more than anything is for you to forgive us when we make a mistake and we apologize. This is because we need acceptance more than consideration or inclusion and it make us feel super accepted when you forgive us.
Just remember that when you feel like forgiving doesn’t mean anything (since you don’t really need to be told directly)
So guys, if you remember to use nagjectives, take responsibility for your mistakes and apologize sincerely and gals, if you remember to forgive your man when he does that, you will see improvements in your relationship.
Have you tried this? I’d love to hear from you on this. Let me know by commenting below.